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Soldiers marry iraqi women Original Source Link: (May no longer be active)
http://www.ajc.com/news/content/news/0803/29irmarry.htmlhttp://www.ajc.com/news/content/news/0803/29irmarry.html
Iraqi girlfriends capture GI hearts
By LARRY KAPLOW
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
BAGHDAD, Iraq -- In the 20 weeks since the fall of Baghdad, two U.S. soldiers and two Iraqi women won each other's hearts.
The American men and Iraqi women courted, fell in love and decided to marry, but they had to battle disapproving senior American officers and fears of retribution by militant Iraqis.
When they finally held their double wedding ceremony Aug. 17, the nuptials were carried out with the secrecy and synchronization of a commando operation.
The two brides -- one in a print dress, the other in slacks -- and a few family members came to a city street corner at mid-morning. From there, an Iraqi intermediary led them to the route of their fiancés' foot patrol.
The grooms, carrying M-16 rifles, marched up in their Army uniforms, complete with bulletproof vests. A nervous Iraqi judge arrived, and the group ducked into the grassy courtyard of a dilapidated restaurant, where the vows were exchanged.
The couples met after the Iraqi women, both English-speaking, took jobs with the Americans who have been trying to pacify the war-torn nation since the fall of Saddam Hussein's regime.
No one minded that the Iraqi women and U.S. soldiers flirted with each other. But as the friendships deepened into romance, U.S. officers decided the relationships posed a security problem and prohibited the men from "fraternization" during "combat."
In spite of the prohibition, the soldiers -- National Guardsmen from the Florida Panhandle -- converted to Islam in an Iraqi court a couple of weeks before the ceremony. The double wedding, including the exchange of rings and recitation of vows, was carried out with an American reporter watching.
Honeymoon delayed
The weddings illustrate the gray areas of the American-Iraqi relationship in this capital, where troops function as both liberators and occupiers, hoping to win over most Iraqis while still fighting those who preferred the old regime.
The weddings-on-patrol were necessary because the soldiers' superior officers were trying to block them.
"We are accomplishing a mission on the street and protecting our forces," Capt. Jack McClellan, a spokesman for the Florida Army National Guard, said. "We cannot develop relationships with the locals unless they are mission-related. If it's true love, in a few months . . . they can pursue it. They are not allowed to see them."
Yet Sgt. Sean Blackwell, 27, and Cpl. Brett Dagen, 37, were determined.
"I've done two years overseas on active duty, and I never thought this would happen," Blackwell said. "I love her."
Now, he is trying to figure out how to bring his wife -- they are married under Iraqi, but not yet under American, law -- to the Pensacola area, where the couple plans to hold a larger wedding with friends and family.
Subsequent requests for interviews with the men were denied by the military, although Blackwell could answer questions by e-mail.
The women, who agreed to be interviewed, face their own problems. Speaking to The Atlanta Journal-Constitution on the condition that their names not be published, they said they fear militants could target them just as they have targeted interpreters, police and other Iraqis cooperating with the Americans.
Iraqis object, too
Blackwell's relationship with his wife began shortly after Saddam's regime fell in April. She came looking for a job at a place where Blackwell was standing guard.
She was not hired there and later began interpreting for Americans at another Baghdad location. But she had been struck by the tall, shy Blackwell and occasionally went to visit him at his guard post. After he was re-assigned, she visited him there. During those visits, she met other soldiers, including Dagen, whom she introduced to her friend.
Sometimes the women brought lunches for their soldier boyfriends. Usually, they just chatted in dilapidated offices or gatehouses converted to guard posts.
As the romances blossomed, one superior officer began to oppose the liaisons. Another -- lower in command -- took an opposite tack and wrote a letter on Blackwell's behalf to the U.S. Consulate, asking for assistance with a visa for the couple.
Opposition to the romances also came from Iraqis. Blackwell's wife and her friend said they resent the common suspicion that they are seeking soldier-husbands as tickets to America. They said they do not need American husbands to flee Iraq because they already have relatives and friends in Canada, Ireland and Australia.
They said they also were disappointed that some Iraqis accused them of betraying their country. "You are marrying the occupation," Blackwell's wife recalled being told.
As the couples became better acquainted, Blackwell revealed to his future spouse that he had been married before and had two daughters -- facts that did not deter her devotion. He also met her siblings and mother when they came to his guard post.
After the couple agreed to marry, Blackwell -- a Christian from the small town of Pace, Fla. -- began considering conversion to Islam, a requirement for the marriage to be recognized in Iraqi courts. The conversion was "something I thought about long and hard," he said. "So I decided to study it to learn more about it."
A trim, easygoing man who wants to study nutrition when he returns to Florida, Blackwell said he asked Iraqi interpreters questions about their religion and read the Quran and Geraldine Brooks' "Nine Parts of Desire," a book about women in Islam.
"Since my love for her was so great and it was something that I had to do to marry her, it turned out to be a much easier decision than you would think," he said. "I am very excited about spending the rest of my life in a multicultural family."
Early this month, Blackwell, Dagen and several of their armed comrades dismounted their Humvees at a looted courthouse that was reopening under American authority. In a dingy office, the two soldiers appeared before a judge to state, in Arabic, the religion's fundamental sentence, "There is no God but God and Mohammed is the messenger of God."
Court clerk Khalida al-Zorbai said, "They even knew stories from the Quran."
The marriages were supposed to follow within days, but superior officers, who learned of the plan, limited the soldiers' movements off base, the soldiers said, and forbade them to use Army vehicles to go to the court.
Through intermediaries, the men started sending love notes urging the women to be patient.
Vows defy orders
Circumventing the military's orders forbidding the soldiers to go to court, the two doctors persuaded an Iraqi judge to perform the ceremony along a patrol route.
Dagen, of Walnut Hill, Fla., near Pensacola, showed up wearing Muslim prayer beads on his uniform. Despite the circumstances, it was a good morning for a wedding, clear and sunny with a daytime moon in the blue sky. The grooms and a couple of other Guard soldiers scanned the rooflines to make sure there was no danger.
"Now she is your wife," the judge recited as Blackwell's wedding papers were completed. "I urge you to protect her and preserve her honor. Your blood will mix with her blood, as a Muslim and as an Iraqi."
A similar simple ceremony, over a small table surrounded by plastic chairs, was performed for Dagen and his fiancée. After family members congratulated the newlyweds and a few pictures were taken, the troops trudged back to patrol the streets.
Security concerns
The soldiers now are appealing to U.S. officials in and out of the military to begin the visa process for their wives. It's unclear whether their superiors know the weddings took place or how they might react.
"We are in combat operations," spokesman McClellan said. "If they get married, how can we safeguard those women? How can [a soldier] focus on his job if his wife or fiancée is out there?"
U.S. officials have other concerns about operational information the women might learn. The women say they are no more a security threat than the many Iraqis who work on bases and become friendly with soldiers.
Blackwell is trying to gather information on the visa process and said he's not worried about telling the world about his marriage.
"I am confident that it will be a very welcomed story back home," he wrote in an e-mail. "I feel the American public needs a story about something good that happened over here."
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