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New poseidon adventure has arab terrorists { November 18 2005 } Original Source Link: (May no longer be active)
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/18/arts/television/18tvwk.htmlhttp://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/18/arts/television/18tvwk.html
November 18, 2005
TV Weekend | 'The Poseidon Adventure'
Red Update Alert: Poseidon Goes Belly Up Again
By ALESSANDRA STANLEY
Re-creations of 70's schlock, from "Starsky & Hutch" to "The Dukes of Hazzard," all seem to obey the second law of movie dynamics: remakes drift to a state of inert uniformity known as entropy.
NBC's three-hour "Poseidon Adventure," to be shown Sunday night, may be the exception that proves the rule. It is not quite as deliciously awful as the original 1972 disaster movie, but it comes pretty close. Pauline Kael once described "The Poseidon Adventure" as a "waterlogged 'Grand Hotel.' " The TV version is closer to a massacre on "The Love Boat."
Not a single cruise director is spared.
The writers wisely chose to update the plot, which was based on a novel by Paul Gallico. Instead of a freak weather disaster, Islamic terrorists disguised as kitchen workers take over the luxury cruise ship and blow it up with explosives hidden inside beer kegs. (These terrorists are much better prepared than the pirates who tried to board a cruise ship off the coast of Somalia earlier this month with a grenade launcher.)
Modern audiences have short attention spans and need a movie to kick off with a little violence. The terrorist twist allows the film to open with a scene of a Special Forces team raiding an enemy safe house in Jordan and opening fire on the conspirators - always a bracing way to start. The terrorists are slaughtered ("all targets are reduced," one agent says to another), but not before their leader manages to destroy evidence of the secret plot to blow up the S.S. Poseidon.
The cast of characters has been updated as well, though, oddly, not to reflect multiculturalism. There are no black or Hispanic heroes. Only feminism gets a tip of the cap: one of the smarter, tougher survivors is Rachel (Alexa Hamilton), a successful entrepreneur who booked the cruise to improve relations with her whiny husband, Richard (goes without saying: Steve Guttenberg). But she also chooses to share the cabin suite with their two children, putting a damper on candle-lit reconciliation. Richard, a failed novelist, seeks adulterous consolation in the arms of the ship masseuse, Shoshanna (Nathalie Boltt).
Ernest Borgnine played Detective Lt. Mike Rogo in the original. In the post-Sept. 11 version, Rogo (Adam Baldwin) is a gruff, buff officer in the Department of Homeland Security who is assigned to the Poseidon as an undercover sea marshal. Rogo is a man of few words, but lots of disaster movie aphorisms ("Everything is safe, until it's not").
The script even takes account of grade inflation at the Vatican: the take-charge Roman Catholic priest Gene Hackman played in the original is now a monsignor, Bishop Schmit, played by Rutger Hauer ("Blade Runner"). Secular Hollywood, however, gets equal time: Bryan Brown ("The Thorn Birds") plays a Hollywood schlockmeister, Jeffrey, who goes on the cruise with his sexy, young French beloved, Aimee (Tinarie Van Wyk).
Perhaps the most striking addition is the remake's post-Iraq war humility. When the United States Navy is finally alerted to the hijacking (the terrorists destroy the ship's communications system, but Rachel manages to tack an S.O.S. message to her e-mail Christmas list), the admiral in charge finds he cannot get an American satellite in position to locate the missing vessel. The British secret service comes to the rescue, led by a crisp senior agent, Suzanne Harrison, played by Alex Kingston ("ER").
Since John le Carré, British spy thrillers have brooded over the inequities of the "special relationship," gleefully portraying C.I.A. agents as blustering bullies who undermine British spy craft, notably in the BBC series "MI-5." In its own small way, "The Poseidon Adventure" is a way of saying we're sorry.
Sadly, the famous theme song, "The Morning After" sung by Maureen McGovern, which won "The Poseidon Adventure" its only major Oscar, was left out. But the Shelley Winters role remains intact. The British actress Sylvia Syms plays the elderly passenger, Belle Rosen, and while this time she is a widow (the tiresome kind who always quotes her late husband, Manny), she has just enough avoirdupois to give viewers chilling expectations for Mrs. Rosen's underwater swimming scene. It would be churlish to ruin the suspense, but as soon as the ship flips, the producers tantalize viewers with ominous shots of Mrs. Rosen's rear end as she climbs fire ladders in a blue dress with a long slit up the back.
The original movie was one of the first all-star disaster movies, a precursor to "The Towering Inferno," starring Paul Newman, but that genre has faded. For one thing, in an era when Robert De Niro and Kate Winslet do ads for American Express, few movie stars have the same cachet. The cast of NBC's disaster movie is not particularly high powered, but it doesn't really matter.
Nor are the special effects particularly special - it's hard to detect any major technological advances in the depiction of rushing waters and crashing furniture. Nevertheless, the high point, when the ship first capsizes and New Year's Eve revelers in the grand ballroom fall from the upside-down floor to the ceiling, is quite satisfying - especially when one of them crashes through the ceiling's stained glass.
Three hours is a lot for a cruise-ship hijacking, but "The Poseidon Adventure" manages to keep a straight face throughout even in its silliest moments. And that is a fitting tribute to the original.
The Poseidon Adventure
NBC, Sunday night at 8, Eastern and Pacific times; 7, Central time.
Robert Halmi Jr. and Larry Levinson, executive producers; John Putch, director; Bryce Zabel wrote the teleplay based on the novel by Paul Gallico. A Hallmark Entertainment presentation of a Silverstar Limited Production in association with Larry Levinson Productions.
WITH: Steve Guttenberg (Richard), Bryan Brown (Jeffrey Eric Anderson), Rutger Hauer (Bishop Schmidt), Peter Weller (Capt. Paul Gallico), C. Thomas Howell (Dr. Ballard), Adam Baldwin (Mike Rogo), Alex Kingston (Suzanne Harrison), Alexa Hamilton (Rachel), Sylvia Syms (Belle Rosen), Nathalie Boltt (Shoshanna) and Tinarie Van Wyk (Aimee Anderson).
Copyright 2005 The New York Times Company
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